Evening folks,
It seems like its been a while, but really it hasn't been that long since my last entry, only last week. A strange thing is happening to me in that time is speeding up and the very moment that I wish it to slow down.
It's two weeks tomorrow until my operation and this morning I had the first of a few appointments with a clinical psychologist to go over 'where my head is at'. I've never experienced anything like that before and have had subsequently the worst headache all of today following the meeting.
We went over my thoughts about the operation, what I wanted to get out of it, what I thought a good result would look like, how would I measure the success of the operation etc. Some of the questions were thought provoking and others really hit a nerve. They suggested in the meantime I write a 'thought diary' which in someways what I am treating this as.
Last Sunday was awful, I was so blue and overwhelmed and couldn't think of anyone who I could confide in about how I was feeling. I honestly thought what I needed was a weekend to myself and in fact, having so much time on my own lead me to 'wallow' which I now realise is really not helpful. This weekend I have some plans and am hopefully that I wont get melancholy again.
On the plus side I have purchased a foam memory mattress topper, apparently I will benefit enormously from this when I can only sleep on my back. I have also had to source 'letter cages' to ensure I don't bend down. How fun this will be!
OK, I am off to chill out and watch a movie, thanks for just letting me share.
Take care.
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